The line between solitude and lonliness

He complains that I am a cribby , of late. Yes , I am.

Being 30 is not easy. Never did I imagine , never never did I think ,
that age would have so much importance on one's well being.

The silence is deafening.

This place is to blame. Not my age , or so I think at times. Not having frens with whom I can have a laugh is so damm depressing , all those who are over 28 are married with a
kid or two like me. But they are those mummy kinds with whom I can talk and
share thoughts and words on diapers and diaper rashes. But beyond that ,
they do not connect with me or my thoughts. Those below 24 , do not want me
in their group coz I am a lead, I am a senior. They probably bitch about my
crowd a lot and they do not want me there.

Its a tad bit different for a guy, the young gals do welcome guys of my
league into their crowd. But women are a big no-no.

I think I behaved the similar way too when I was a fresher. I was wary
about the senior women.

I love solitude and enjoyed the silence initally. But it soon drifted to
lonliness. I did not have a FB account till a few months ago coz I didnt
have time for it. Then I moved to this organization and I have no frens ,
no gangs , no sneaking coffee hours... So I have all the time in the world
for FB at office. And lonliness makes me check it every now and then .
I miss those coffee moments we had till few months ago, waiting for the
coffee breaks.. an hour or more of laughing and talking casually. Now its
coffee breaks with the moms of this new org. I go along discuss something
boring , read the days newspaper , go back to my seat .